I just got a netflix account a few weeks ago and I’ve been trying to rent all the classic movies I should have seen but haven’t. One movie on my list was Dead Man Walking. I thought the movie was pretty cool, but I think I was more into the whole idea behind the subject matter. The death penalty to me is just insane. I realize the guys on death row have done some pretty fucked up things, but thinking about having to know when you’re going to die really terrifies me.

I think the way the whole thing works is especially confusing. The death penalty seems to mainly be about justice, you take a life, the government takes yours. But it’s not really an eye for an eye. A murder victim doesn’t usually get to have a last meal of his or her choice, they don’t get to say goodbye to loved ones, they don’t have the opportunity to leave the world with thoughtful final words. I don’t know that there’s any way I would try to improve the process, it just seems weird.

Anyway, after the movie I felt compelled to spend about an hour googling the last words from convicts on death row. It was both interesting and addicting, albeit kind of morbid. The site I (enjoyed?) the most I think is this one. Particularly because I can read a convicts crime, their last meal and their final words. It’s so strange to read about someone like Like Karl Chamberlain, a murderer and rapist who for his last meal was entitled to a variety of fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese, lunch meat, deviled eggs, six fried cheese-stuffed jalapenos, a chef salad with ranch dressing, onion rings, french fries, a cheeseburger, two fried chicken breasts, barbecue pork rolls, an omelet, milk and orange juice. I don’t believe in the death penalty, but I do believe in not being a hypocrite. Is that really how justice works?

Before I go I’ll leave you with my favorite read. An inmate named Monty Delk, who murdered a man after going to his house under the pretense of buying his car. “Monty Delk was one of death row’s most notorious inmates. Prison officials said that he showered without removing his coveralls or using soap, and that his personal odor was so offensive, he had to be segregated from the other inmates so as to avoid making them ill. In interviews, he claimed to be over 129 years old, having previously been a district judge and a submarine commander.” His last words, among a string of profanities were, “I am the warden! Get your warden off this gurney and shut up! You are not in America. This is the island of Barbados. People will see you doing this.”

If you have a few free minutes, aren’t alone in your scary apartment, and have an odd fascination with death and capital punishment I really recommend checking this shit out.